I have a few friends in the late stages of their first pregnancies and therefore wanted to come up with a personal baby shower gift. Now, unfortunately, I am definitely not the creative type so I quickly ruled out nappy cakes and the like. During a conversation about the magic of cars for sending 8 week old babies to sleep, hubby came up with the perfect solution (he's handy like that) - a list of things I wish I'd known before Bumble arrived. So here are my Top 10:
1. Window - is Bumble's best friend. Window is often preferable to Mummy, Daddy, food or sleep. Window has the power to calm Bumble when all else has failed. For a change of pace "Other Window" (in Bumble's nursery) is just as interesting as is "Magic Window" (the TV) which is especially entertaining when it has injured rugby players rolling around on it.
2. Vomit - I know it sounds stupid but I didn't know that about once a week babies vom in the style of the kid out of the Exorcist - the first time it happened I cried my eyes out completely convinced that Bumble must be terribly upset/in pain/dying. 11 weeks (and 6, yes I'm still counting, episodes later) I've realised that actually the worst thing about it is the fact that I invariably need to change all Bumble's clothes, all my clothes and probably the bed (he seems to choose bedtime or 4am for these events!).
3. The physical aftermath - avoiding any gory details I wish someone had told me how rough you feel after giving birth even if, like me, you are lucky enough to escape any form of intervention. It is debilitating for at least a fortnight and recovering (and working out how to survive!) is the only things to do in those first, extremely difficult days! Get everyone who comes round to make their own drinks (and yours) and accept any offers of help - particularly if that help arrives in the form of food!
4. There is always more wind - baby crying? Don't know why? Tried feeding, changing and winding? It will be wind, it's just refusing to leave! Try leg cycling or pushing knees to chest.
5. Take the small wins - having a shower, getting dressed or managing to make a cup of tea are all cause for celebration in the first fortnight.
6. An achievement a day helps - pick small tasks to define as achievements - making Hubby's lunch was my achievement for the day - if I managed to get 5 minutes where Bumble would allow me to make his lunch I'd had a successful day and could therefore cope better with everything!
7. Don't have guests on the first day home (even grandparents can wait) and don't be afraid to kick people out. Hubby was great at this, clearing the house within seconds on multiple occasions. It is a great job for the OH or any reliable family member who you don't want to leave (in my case hubby was the only one I didn't evict at some point!).
8. Go out - even if it's just to test drive the pram going round the block and even if you really, really don't want to! It sounds patronising but fresh air really does help (and supposedly, going out at some point between noon and 4pm helps baby learn night from day so you may get the bonus of a baby who sleeps when you want them to!).
9. Babies make weird noises - again, I know it sounds stupid but even breathing sounded like an effort in the first weeks and I worried constantly about it (we even ended up in A&E because I was convinced Bumble couldn't breathe and hubby humoured me...). Obviously if you are worried this is not one to ignore or google - just go and ask the doc, health visitor, midwife whoever makes you feel reassured!
10. Don't listen to advice - yes I know I've just written a page of it but truly your instincts will serve you well on the whole and often those offering advice are 20+ years out of date in their baby knowledge!
Kiddicare also started a discussion about this on Twitter using #wiwik, so if you fancy seeing what some other people wish they'd known, check it out.
Know too that it improves, quickly!
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