1. You've got your hands full
This seems to be a reaction to the small age gap between my boys - I currently have a 23 month old and a 3 month old. This to me implies either that my boys are in some way not behaving as expected (and when this is the case I certainly don't need it highlighting when I'm trying to deal with it) or that I am in some way unaware that parenting a young toddler and a baby simultaneously might, on occasion, be challenging. Let me assure you that I have in fact noticed this. Sometimes I do, quite literally, have my hands full but most of the time actually it's tiring but very good fun!
2. Did you want them so close?
What a question. You're basically asking if we know how to use contraception or if R2 was the result of a failure of said
contraception. To be clear, we do and he wasn't but I shouldn't have to discuss either of these points with strangers in the street/supermarket/baby group.
This is also dangerous ground - you don't know if a couple struggled to conceive or had a specific reason for needing their children to be close. It's also absolutely nobody's business but the couple's.
3. Are you going to try again for a girl?
This is just beyond me. Firstly, genders are not a set you have to complete. I have two beautiful, healthy boys - if we choose to have a 3rd child I have absolutely no preference about the gender of that child. Secondly, it implies I should be dissatisfied with my two boys in some way. This is a continuation of something I found when I was pregnant the second time and knew that I was expecting another boy. I was frequently asked if I was disappointed that R2 was male and people seemed quite surprised by my response - "No, I am not disappointed that I am having a healthy baby".
The other problem with this question is that the size of our family is between me and my husband, it is not for people in cafes or supermarkets to question our plans. I only had R2 3 months ago, I have only just got used to having two children - the idea of whether or not in a year or two we might add to that is just beyond me at the moment so I couldn't even answer if I wanted to.
I am a pretty open person and happily discuss these issues with my close friends but I would suggest that those people who have never met me or my family before yet find it reasonable to ask about the most intimate areas of my life might be better off thinking of something positive or supportive to say about my two perfect boys.
